Lost in Thought.

Much has happened in the last few weeks and the stress of life is getting to me. I find myself dealing with a lot of issues that I really don't feel like sharing with the world, and yet I am so lost on them. I am not proud of my thoughts. I am not proud of my intentions. There is a fork in the road that I never knew was there before and now it has me asking questions that I really don't like the answers to. My only therapy right now appears to be painting and writing because I cannot voice my thoughts aloud without people getting angry with me... My tattoo has never made more sense to me than right now... "The course of true love never did run smooth"... no it doesn't and maybe I am scared or maybe I have discovered another option... Or maybe I am completely delusional and am making things up in my head. Should I follow the path that I know will lead me to happiness or the path with a giant question mark? It seems obvious that I should want happiness, so then why am I leaning toward the question mark? I toss and turn in bed wondering on the IFs of life. I was thinking on my childhood earlier today and missing how simple life was back then. I miss being able to play games for fun instead of the crazy mind games that people play with me these days. I think that it is almost time for me to go back home and try to refocus my life... This city life is slowly poisoning me, body and mind.