20 Things You Didn't Already Know About Me

1. I love the color Aqua
2. I once bottle fed baby opossums
3. I have horribly graphic nightmares on a regular basis
4. I am obsessed with serial killers and their strange motives
5. I believe that know one will ever know me better than my dogs
6. I believe that everyone has the ability to do good, but few ever do
7. I have been in two car accidents that total my cars, but left me ultimately unharmed
8. I am completely terrified of ghosts
9. Aliens coming and attacking Earth is more comforting than the idea of ghosts
10. I think if there is a God that he would be disappointed in us all
11. I have started writing 5 different books; one is completed
12. I think people are most beautiful when they first wake up
13. I think a beautiful day is one with heavy clouds in the sky and a cold breeze in the air
14. Being in nature is humbling and inspiring
15. I think that I am so much smaller than the universe and I wonder if I can ever make a difference in the world if I am so small
16. I hate Italian food, but love Mexican food
17. I am addicted to food and only workout every day to help curb this addiction
18. I have been skydiving
19. I love water; be it in it, on it or merely near it
20. I am very good at reading people

Interesting Conversations in a Bar

Tonight I saw a movie and had drinks with a good friend from school. I was interested to learn that she was a loyal Christian because I am an Agnostic and I find talking with religious friends to be insightful. It was interesting to learn how many of the things I believe in are also taught in the Christian religion. As I reflect on the conversation we had, I am drawn to the fact that I came up with many of the ideas taught in the Christian faith on my own. For example, I am a firm believer in doing good things for others not because I want the recognition but because it is the right thing to do. I feel like our world has become torn and tattered by greed and materialistic ideals. I believe that caring for others around me is more important that becoming famous. It was interesting in talking with this friend because when we discussed our views on life, they really appeared to be very similar. In talking to her it was clear to me that not all Christian, or religious people in general, are as crazy as some of those soap box preachers screaming about how we are all going to hell. It is nice to know that there are genuinely good people out there, even if other people paint them in a bad light because of the religion they follow. This conversation has pushed me to do more research on the different religious views out there. I think I will be visiting a Christian church soon, not because I want to be converted but because I want to know their side. I like to think tolerance comes with knowledge and I am a firm believer in the fact that I have know right to presume one religion has true authority over another. That being said, I am excited to talk to other religious peoples and see what their views are too.

Soulmate

In the beginning there was only one soul. It was happy for it was whole. But the happiness could not last. When the Earth was born, his mother, the Sun shone brightly on all things. When her rays landed on the Soul, her son became enraged, jealous of the Soul’s happiness. And so to make her son happy once more, the Sun turned toward the Soul and split it in two. Then to be sure the Soul stayed in two halves, she created a human and placed the confused, bitter half of the Soul here; with the trusting, loyal half she formed a canine. Ensuring that the Soul could never again be complete, the Sun took the voice from the loyal half; leaving the confused side to ponder its existence in solitude. But every now and again, two halves of the same soul will meet. Without words, the loyal half will teach its bitter side how to listen, to love, and to be patient. Their time together will be short lived, but much will be learned in this time and the confused half will no longer be lost. For some, when all has been taught, and the confused side has become truly enlightened, then and only then will the Soul become complete once more. 

Prayers We Should All Live By

The Prayer of Saint Frances Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life. 

Amen

Good Will (Sutta Nipata - the Buddha)

May all beings be filled with joy and peace.

May all beings everywhere,

The strong and the weak,

The great and the small,

The mean and the powerful,

The short and the long,

The subtle and the gross:

May all beings everywhere,

Seen and unseen,

Dwelling far off or nearby,

Being or waiting to become:

May all be filled with lasting joy.

Let no one deceive another.

Let no one anywhere despise another. 

Let no one, out of anger or resentment,

Wish suffering on anyone at all.

Just as a mother with her own life 

Protects her child, her only child, from harm,

So within yourself let grow

A boundless love for all creatures.

Let your love flow outward through the universe,

To its height, its depth, its broad extent,

A limitless love, without hatred or enmity.

Then, as you stand or walk,

Sit or lie down,

As long as you are awake,

Strive for this with a one-pointed mind;

Your life will bring heaven to earth.

Lustful Thoughts

My mind keeps wandering back to a man I just met. He is kind and gentle and yet has a fiercely poetic side. He so intrigues me that even now I think of him when I am with my own lover. I never look anyone in the eye because to do so is to see their soul and yet when I speak with him, I find myself trying desperately to catch his eye. I want to know this man and yet I don't understand why I want to know him. Perhaps it is because he wears his illness for all to see where I hide my illness behind closed doors. Maybe I want to learn from him. I really do not know why but I think of him often and I crave the conversations we have together. It bothers me to no end that this man gets under my skin with out even trying. I am not even sure I register on his radar the way he does on mine. What bothers me even more is that I have a boyfriend of 3 years and yet I keep looking for this other man's attentions. I am frustrated and have to share this strange lustful, mental frustration with the world.

S.